bye bye 2012 .. hello 2013 !

Major life events in ...
2011 : a doctor and a wife
2012 : embracing pregnancyhood
2013 : motherhood? in sha Allah.

Every year new year's resolution would be to become a better person but I think I need to be more specific than just 'better' ..

This year's (2012) NY resolution, I planned to save up more and my aim was to add 1/5 of my salary to my ASB everymonth but -- i failed ! I usually keeps them and do one lam-sam so that I don't have to go back and forth to the bank but keeping them means spending them too !! :((((((((((
And when I had the time to go this month, it has already closed for divident count etc2.. SAD !
My aim was to have certain amount by end this year but I was not near to half :(

Becoming a better cook was another resolution.. I cooked but i would not consider myself a great one YET ! To invite people to come and eat at my place is a nerve-wrecking. I am not confident at all with my cooking yet.. so.. another resolution not 100% fully achieved.

I could not remember the others but to compare with the year before, life pretty much settled in 2012. Things handled better, and I have learned to control myself better.

Just one issue -> i'm having this emotional blunting for the past 2-3 months maybe? I'm not sure if pregnancy has anything to do with it but if the emotions hit me, I weep like a baby .. I am not kidding.
Oh well, positive thinking would be it is just me protecting myself from being overtly emotional with the hormones at its peak.

This year I want to be really specific with my resolution.
1) I want to learn and be expert at cooking what Ijul likes for raya -- rendang, lontong, that yellow kuah (lodeh was it?) , that kuah kacang .. Laksa johor - eventhough it's the family's favorite, husband is first now so... gotta learn this one !!
2) I want to become a better muslimah. Even how busy I would be, I have to try to make it for solat and try as much as I could not to miss every waktu (quite a problem this year) .. &  Maybe qatam another round this year ? In sha Allah
3) To don hijab in sha Allah
4) When baby is here -> I will not nag when baby cry all the time, I will not complain when baby is cranky, I will not let bibik do stuff for my baby when im not working (except washing clothes/diapers), i don't want bibik around when i jalan2 with baby and hubs (vacay/shop), hmmmm so much more ! I want to be the first to bath (that is quite impossible cause the nurse in the hospital will be the FIRST !!)

I want to be the first to kiss -> also quite impossible .. Ijul will for sure hover around the baby and me? --> mmmmmmmmm.. waiting for doctor to be done repairing my perineum or waiting for the observation period to be done so I could be transfered out to normal ward..

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..

it's okay. maybe the first to wean the kid at 6months, and hopefully the 1st to see the kid taking the 1st step unsupported ;))

okay since he is the 1st cucu and nephew for both families , nobody can bring him out from KL/Selangor area until I do .. I want to be the first, ok bye !

okay next...
5)I  need to register for my masterprogramme !! atleast to sit for one in June in sha Allah.
I'm quite certain I love paediatric.. Eventhough my knowledge is still poor due to lack of reading but passion is there. That is most important.
Why paeds ??? hmmm I don't know. I feel very sincere working in that department. Never complained. Always loving it eventhough I'm now what people called sarat , I loved it there.
6) Umrah with husband
7) Save up more !!!

That are my aims for next year :)
May Allah ease and bless each steps. in sha Allah.

Happy New Year ;))

breastpumps

I have a big ambition ! Haha mm
I said its big because they say breastfeeding is a challenge for all first time mothers.. and i am going to be one soon insyaAllah.

I want to fully breastfeed my child till 6months old. I really want to.

And since my work is an abnormal one, i sure need a breastpump. Already fell in love with medela brand.

The best so far in market with good 2nd hand value and highly recommended one. Most of my colleagues are using medela.

One of the latest brand is 'freestyle'. They have two pumps and u no need to hold onto the pumps when it is pumping hence the name freestyle.

One thing ive learned , u really really need to be extra rajin to browse around and compare price or else u will be cheated.

Most medela freestyle outside is 1788 but there are places who sell for 2k+!! Including online websites and including dealer from hospital !!! Pffttttt..

Few places sell it best 1399rm .. at bebehaus bangsar village and robinson once i saw . Not sure if they are still in stock now coz i surveyed them earlier lastmonth ..

I compared to UK price of medela freestyle, tesco sells it for 255£ and boots for 265£ ! Much cheaper kan? Contains the same set and same warranty .. can claim VAT somemore .. of course ill grab tht one.

Newzealand sells it for 1800rm after converting ..

Yes it is expensive but i believe it is for long term investment and a good breastpump last .. every nursing working mother needs a good breastpump to avoid soreness and acheness .. :)

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antenatal class?

I feel it is beneficial but ijul and i decided not to go.

Sdmc offered good course of antenatal class which held once a week for 4 weeks and 3 hours each session.

I enquired them when i was 30weeks pregnant and was a bit late but they dont mind slotting us in.

Unfortunately, my work schedule is never friendly and i dont usually get a weekend off.

Hence, we decided to spend the weekend (when i have one) together instead of going for the course. That will be more worth it :)

Since I had a lil knowledge learned from work, i can teach him a bit larr :)

Other then that, to you tube we go for antenatal class ;) yattaa !

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epidural or not?

This disturbs me.. Which would I choose for pain relief while in labor.

There are 3 types.
- gas , layman calls it laughing gas whilst we medical ppl call it enthonox.
It acts by giving some relief of pain but what I think is that it made u high in some way where ur mind dont really focus on the pain. Some vomits taking the gas, but most still feels the pain even by inhaling the gas.

-opioids. Most often they give is pethidine , injected most commonly on the buttocks.
Painful !! And it also acts as sedative. Actions are pretty slow, some feels really sleepy when they are fully and bearing down. Still, most do feel pain but treshold varies. Better as compared to gas.
The drawback of pethidine is that not only it made u , the one in labor sleepy. It also made the baby sleep. Baby sometimes come out not crying as active as they are sedated by the meds, but we usually give antidote right after baby was born to the baby.. and sometimes, CTG in labor may shows sleeping pattern (not convincing) and some practitioner, they wouldnt want to risk it and opt for caesarean section..

Lastly.. epidural
The best pain relief, ever ! No doubt. Eventhough very few might still perceive pain bt mostly are satisfied with it.

My colleague recently delivered this morning, she took epidural when she's dilated 4cm. She slept soundly till she was fully dilated ! She did not feel any pain at all and she was satisfied. Eventhough to get the baby out takes longer time, but she was pain free the whole time ! She fully recommends epidural to me ..

Epidural..hmmmmmm

What scares me is not feeling the pain. Because that pain makes u push for the baby to come out. And instrumental delivery is high when u take epidural. Since effort is poor  , baby cannot be inside for too long so to aid the baby out, ended up with vacuum or forcep.

I have no idea what to go for pain relief. Really no idea !!!!!

I was just hoping that my pain is severe only when im more than 6cm dilated, and not to wait too long ?

Or.. I was hoping that I would have high pain treshold and when the pain comes, Ill try to distract myself with packing or cooking or watching tv or walking till the pain is once every 3 mins ? Hmm..

Clueless ... gas will be my only choice for now thou. Im just afraid if i regret not taking epidural when im already more than 6cm dilated. and they will not allow for epidural at that time

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30 weeks...

..pregnant now.

My thoughts right now :
1. Will I be able to go through normal labor
2. Will I be strong enough to withstand labor pains
3. Will I need any pain relief?
4. Can my baby withstand the stress of labor?
5. Will my baby be alright..

And the list goes on.

The fear is there for almost everything. Palpitates everytime I overthink about it.

But everytime baby dance inside, it soothes me somehow. :)

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all the little things

Ijul owned a honda civic fd2r before. I know he loved that car so much, and i loved it too. And it is so easy to know that he's nearby with that particular engine sound that the car made.

3 - 4 months pregnant, he decided to let it go after 5 yrs. I can tell that he cried inside aloud , but too 'macho' to show. He said : ' this car doesnt fit if we are going to have a family' (awww teared)

And car is very bumpy. Not so safe for pregnancy.

Ijul has been great. I love him and couldn't thanked Allah so much for blessing me with a great person to love and live with.

Almost everyday he would fetch me from work. Layan my food aversions (choosy a bit during pregnant) , layan all my emotional moments and worked really hard to ensure that we can live on our own and not relying on anyone else.

He's great. We stayed in kl but since pregnant, we seldom stay there as it is always easy for me to eat at home and take a holiday from cooking , laundry etc. And our workplace is in kl! We travelled daily but he never complains.

Whenever he fetched me from work, ill be in a hungry state. And one fine random day, i would get a vitagen and chocs/chips in the car to munch on the way back home.

My obgyn is dato dr siti at sjmc, and she is a very popular obgyn. People sacrificed to wake up at 630am to grab the earlier numbers.

We usually take the saturday appointment as it is convenient for he and i. He would wake up and take the number for me early at 7am and if im not working, he asked me to sleep and rest instead when i offered to go and breakfast together while waiting. Declined ! Forced me to sleep.

These small little things made me happy. I don't need a billboard of announcement telling the world he loves me, or flowery poem to express his feelings or weekly bouquet of flowers to wowed me.

These small things are good enough. Because small things made bigger things extra special ;-) 

Thanks sayang for being perfectly you ;-)

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gym is NAY

married.family.work.friends.

I quit fitness first just recently. Work itself can be considered exercise in my case..  and after work, I don't see running is even useful anymore. For cardio yes, but if persistency is a problem it won't benefit much.

I have stopped since pregnant and even before, I have difficulties commiting myself for gym.

soo.. Yep, I quit for good and will never resort for gym anymore.

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first trimester

It wouldn't be that bad, I thought..

And when the symptoms start coming...

The nausea and vomiting as some referred to morning sickness, mine was evening.

It first came at 6 weeks. First time, oddly, I smiled and laughed gleefully feeling so proud to have the symptom ! Common symptoms everyone has in pregnancy and I have it too!! A proof that there's a miracle growing inside of me..

But after few episodes of sickness, no.more.smiles. Mine was not that bad but I had them. Maybe once or twice tops per day, and it occured every other day or 2 days free before the sickness reappear.

I had food aversions too! Curry was a definite NO ! up till now after passing 1st trimester, I had a lil phobia with curry and usually takes them very lil.

I was a seafood lover but not anymore when pregnant. I can eat but I dont go craze about it.

I love sup daging even at my 1st trimester. But at current, sup daging is a bit geli for my throat. LoL..

Thank god my love to chocolate never changed ;-)

I cannot take lamb. I took once a month back, and I ended with a bad throbbing headache with 5days of fever. very
very.bad.

Cravings?? no! but choosy, very much yea.

Sense of smell heightened especially during first 3months. Food smells were nauseating. Some people dislike perfumes, and some even hates their husband's smell or presence? hahaha. that thankfully did not occur ;-) more attach ada la. *batlashes*

Fatigueness were full blown. Daily normal activity just made me really tired. I guess that critical development time took a hugr sum of energy from the mother huh? I even felt like a grandma, slept at 9pm everyday but still feel not adequate the next morning.

Emotional wise.. hmm.. I easily let down tears and I am not the person that teared easily. Movies like step up revolution, the part where the girl danced alone for final audition? i.teared.a.bit. hahaha! only at that. Being extra cranky or angry or irritable, not so much. Feels the same like before.

Everybody experienced them differently even after multiple times getting pregnant, they always have something different to share everytime ♥

Alhamdulillah after first trimester has passed, energy were back to normal, no more nausea and vomiting, not so choosy and sense of smells were handle-able. All smiles

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UPT positive and first trimester

I had an instinct that I might be baking a bun in my oven since 1st week of May. At that time, I went for my usual gym routine. When I was on the threadmill, I could not run. Any attempt to run, my lower abdomen cramped&cried in pain. I did not push further because we were planning to have one and I suspect I am.

Later, I frequently have lower abdominal pain and back pain. Especially when Im working . Taking patient's bloods were a huge burden coz bending is painful and achy..

Only 2-3 weeks later when my period missed a week, my urine test had a vague positive line. Worried if i might be hallucinating, I double confirmed with my husband's eyes hehe..

Planned was to see an obgyn end of june cause at least at that time, a heartbeat will be there. Unfortunately, I had red-brownish staining a week after my urine tested positive.

I was diagnosed to have a threatened miscarriage , which means the baby is threatened and that doctor gave me 50-50% chance since no heartbeat could be detected (too early scan)

Ijul and I were extremely worried. Worried so much and prayed to Allah as He knows the best. My BHCG was really convincing and at least that little nut is in my uterus and not somewhere outside.

I was on bed rest. Waiting game were no fun. A week later, my private obgyn scanned and saw a small clot in btwn my uterus and the decidua(which will bcome placenta later). This condition is called subchorionic haemorrhage and it seemed to be normal according to my obgyn coz there is always a possibility a part of it got dettached during excessive movements or unknown reasons, bleed and formed a clot. But good news was we saw a heartbeat !

A week later I repeated scan at my hospital, they don't seemed to see any clots but since staining still present, I was allowed to rest.

I had 2 days of bleeding, more than just stains and that freaked out a bit. But positive thinking, since I had no cramps, i did not see any products coming out, I thought maybe the clot is bleeding out and hence it bleed more. The clot has to come out to allow proper attachment .. oh god, knowing so much is seriously a major problem !!!!

After that , just stains for almost a month. Too worried sampai tak worried dah.. in the end , just leave it to Allah.

I resumed work after 3+wks of rest, and that is not easy. The more i walk and longer i stand, stained were more. I get lower abdominal cramps due to excessive walk and when I rest for a while , eg sitting in labor room (when nobody is in labor) , I was labelled lazy.. sigh :'( but I dont blame them, they don't know what i am going through at that time and i dont plan to share since it was my first week of new dept, tagging somemore (7am-10pm work) .. i did not want people to label me having excuses just because i am pregnant.

But alhamdulillah, 2nd week of work, no more stained. And now I am at my 21 weeks. Baby is active , Alhamdulillah ;-)

To be cont.

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Syawal wishes ;)

Selamat Hari Raya !!! 
Hope it is not too late to wish ;) How's Syawal for all of u ? It was HECTIC for me !!!! I only had holiday on the 4th and 5th raya.
On the 1st day of Raya, I worked at night from 10pm-10am the next day, hence I get to spend my 1st day Raya with family.. We covered 7 houses on that day !!! No naps the whole day :(( I was pretty knackered top to bottom. Was incharged in labor room. Prayed so hard I get to atleast sleep.. Alhamdulillah, the last labor was at 11pm , and the next patient came in at 430am. I get to sleep for a bit alhamdulillah :)

My sibs with his ;)

2nd day raya was the day I came back from my night duties. Went raya as usual but slept early as 3rd day Raya I worked at 7am till 2pm.. HECTIC HUHHHHH...

On 4th day Raya, my mom's side of the family organised a family day at Gold coast, Morib. 

Tokmak and her granddaughters (not all in the pic)

Family day was great. But I could not do anything much.. EHEM.. saw that small bump? or realized me looking a little bit chubby? HAHAHAHA

Yes yes.. Alhamdulilah, hot bun is cooking in my oven.. wootszzz !! we are expecting ;)
Today, baby has turned 20 weeks / 5 months ;) Starting to appreciate movements more since last week..

Hence, the reason why I could not do anything much.
No theme park. No beach in the evening. No running. No sports activities.. hMmmm.. Boring laa a bit but for the baby and me, wtvr it takes ;)

Will share more about my pregnancy insyaAllah. So far, Alhamdulilah smooth sailing..

2 more weeks before we end syawal ;) enjoy every bits of it ya !

Till then, XOXO

updates

Ramadhan is nearing to end. I hope everybody gets what they seeked for in this Ramadhan, InsyaAllah. I know some of my friends have changed to be better during this Ramadhan and I am so proud of them, wishing the same changes to occur to me too ! (ehem, hijab =) ) InsyaAllah. It will start somewhere just need some strong initiation and persistence.

I have entered a new department since 2nd of July- obstetric and gynecology (obgyn) . All about women and their reproductive organs. Initially I don't quite liking the vibe but after a month plus there, I'm getting the hang of it. It is a nice posting but not something I would love to do/deal with day in and out. In short,  I will not consider specialising in this area. No specific reasons, just no interest that's all.

That is what housemenship is all about. You like it or not, you have to work around it and deal with it for 4 months per posting and pray that you will not be extended more than 4 months. and ofcourse, learn as you go and gain as many experiences as you could. One thing I dislike is when it is my last month posting, when everything is just at the tip of finger, when everyone around you are like family, when you feel belong and comfortable---> at the end , you got to bid farewell and start all over again for the next posting. Adapt, learn, get the hang of it. EUWWW hate.

I am in obgyn and yes, I can conduct delivery =) /sambut baby/beranakkan orang etc etc heh..

I have also turned 25 on 25th of July. Since it was during fasting month, and on that date husband and I had berbuka at his aunt's place  with his family and cousins, we had a small celebration there. Ibu (MIL) bought a nice Hagen-dazs ice-cream cake and everything was sweet and simple. A birthday song, a cake and a candle. =)



My family planned to celebrate later since I had plans on 25th,  but hmmmmm.. I guess they must have forgotten about it after few days has passed. LOLS! most importantly, I've received prezzy from hubby, ibu and mama ;)) oh, and from my brother all the way from Uk. heh =0)

Speaking of my birthday, I have this expectations that people who are closed to me, must wish. I don't fancy belated but that is better than no wish at all.

My bestfriend who I've known since nastional service, Alia. She never fails to wish me birthday yearly at 12midnight sharp! When hubby and I were boyfriend-girlfriend, he and Alia berebut to wish me. Even up to now ! hehe. I am truly feel blessed. But this year, I zonked out at 9pm on the 24th of July. The next morning, I saw missed calls from Alia at 0000hrs. and then she messaged saying how sad she were not being able to be the first. T.T

I have another bestfriend who forgets my birthday this year.....

All relationship have their ups and downs. When we were miles away apart, I could feel the distance then. But there were efforts to meet and catch up and there goes the saying that "bestfriends remain the same even after months of silence" or something like that. It did feel that way. She was there when I needed her and vice versa ..

This year, it got more pronounced. Not sure if being married was the reason so, but she declined few hangout dates , she's not the kind that message/bbm so not much of update basically.. and she missed my birthday. She realised so when one of our bestfriend reminded her.-___-

This post was not to convey any message to her ,don't think she even knows I have a blog, No intentions to make anyone feel bad.

The message I am trying to convey is that, A relationship without an effort, will just floats away.
It takes two to tango, two hands to clap, two wings to fly.

I am not angry. Just sad pondering upon how many of my friends would actually care about the ship we sailed together once everybody owns so many ships along the way. I care.

Ringing one year today !

It is 1st of july !! Our 1 year anniversary today , Alhamdulillah !!

Time flies , but nevertheless each moments spent together as a husband and wife were great !

A year together, we have learnt a lot. We have learned to live together, to tolerate each other and how to make one another happy .

This year anniversary has not much celebration do. I did plan for something but due to unavoidable circumstances, and weekend filled with occasions and weddings, I paused that plan . Postponed.

Knowing my husband, who is not a romantic cliche guy, I expected the least. But even so, he has his own sweetness that I would not trade any other.

After clock striked 12 midnight, after we wished each other, he suddenly commanded ..

'Sayang, tolong amekkan blazer dlm robok (almari). Saya nak gantung skali dgn seluar ni.. '

Me : jap ehhh..
Him : cepat la

*Shocked*

Me: aikk, baru a year dah mcm ni ..

Went to the cupboard to fetch his hanged blazer. Complained how high the hanger is and heavy !!

After retrieving the hanger with effort, I saw a samsung plastic bag hanged inside the blazer together.

*grinned*

Him: for u sayang

Saw galaxy s3 fone in blue

*speechless, broke to tears* (emotional ezyana)

Him : aikk dapat hadiah pun nangiss..

I apologized for not having anything prepared, no gift for him.. And his reply made me even more teared.

During the day, we went out for a date. Just like old times :)

I love u so much sayang. Not because of samsung galaxy s3, but simply because I love YOU !

Happy 1 year anniversary to us and may we be blessed with more and more anniversaries to come, together. InsyaAllah.
Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

fitness is not first

I've joined fitness first in December last year. Thanks to my sister . I was only consistent for 3 months when my sister, Eryanie was around but not anymore...

I.HAVE.NOT.BEEN.GOING.TO.GYM

Reason why I joined gym in the first place was not to burn fats but to gain some muscle and so it would add up to my weight. Apart from that, I really need some cardio to keep fit, endorphins, some good body tone especially abdominal and pelvic tone and to spend time with my sister (at that time)

But after she left, and when I started medical posting , it was impossible to find time for gym.

Medical was a very very tiring posting which I enjoyed learning but not being tired. I often skipped meals and that did not help with gym after work.

I freezed my account for 3 months in total now and thought of transfer it to someone who will make full use of it. And for another reason too , it is better to stop.

Don't think it is worth committing anymore.

Sayonara gym ;) I think I'll enjoy green then machine

Condominium

Condominium pretty expensive these days , yes?

Their space are quite limited, and if you prefer the units with more rooms, it will be more expensive . Limited parkings with too rigid security are not quite fancynating .

Of course there are affordable ones which are not too bad condition but the high-ends once are too too too expensive !

( But their offers are quite tempting , no? )

I have always been siding for landed house. Safety wise can't be compare to condominium but atleast it is on the ground ! Need not to worry if my kids suddenly act all superman with superpowers etc2.

I can have my own kitchen without worrying the whole unit might smell ! Rooms and living areas . Playground nearby and I can have guests coming unlimited .

Most of the time that I observe,the bungalow houses costs the same as high-end condos .

Too over-rated and over-priced condos. Serious.




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Health is not Cheap

I am not a politician nor a fanatic. But that does not mean I do not care.

I had a lunch with my dad last week and the topic about politic
suddenly emerged. He questioned where the money goes.

I honestly would not know the details since I am not the government
accounts or audit, but being a healthcare personnel, I do know what
government has contributed to the society.

Hospital Ampang is the Hematology centre (blood diseases centre). And
government has invested dimes for patient undergoing transplantation
surgery. You wouldn't want to know the cost. A lot a lot a lot.

Being a malaysian itself , you get some discount when undergoing
treatment in the government. A lot of treatments and medications we
give for free for malaysians.

And most malaysians come to the government because they are not able
to support private. And some go home without paying bills.. Because
they unable to do so..

What's worst is when some others were from foreigners (indon, bangla,
burmese) tHat do not have tHe priviledge but did not pay too!

So where did the money go? - To support Malaysians undergoing some
minor treament and medication for free, vaccination for babies and
childrens, antenatal care, and support people who couldn't afford to
pay PLUS for these NON Malaysians too.

Social welfare which is also under government has done a lot to help
malaysians in need for financial support.

My dad also questioned why government servants get extra priviledge..

I told him, because we serviced the government. And government has
promised us these priviledges. I told him that healthcare priviledges
does not account for only me , but also for my family which also
includes my parents .. until I pensioned, then priviledge only goes to
my husband and kids ..

When he heard he gets the priviledge as well, he kept quiet and smiled.

Just now I was viewing patients in CCU and one patient defaulted
follow up in Serdang Hospital (cardiology centre) because she cannot
support financially. And now she came to hospital due to another heart
attack.

She was supposed to undergo angiogram with stent insertion and do you
want to know how much these procedure cost in serdang hospital? Equal
to Proton. And if in IJN, it doubles. And now, she is searching help
from social welfare ( *tears of pity*)

Who ever said health is cheap?
And because of these advantages, I would think twice if I were to
leave government.

I don't blame my dad or other Malaysians who sometime questioned where
did the money go. But I can only explained in terms of healthcare
sector, which is never cheap.

We moarned with taxes that we have to pay but the tax money has done
good for the healthcare point of view.

To master in .. ?

I always see my self as a consultant. Not a surgeon.

I love medicine. I love paediatric too. Almost the same , only different is age group covered .

Paediatric covers 12 yrs old and below while medicine above 12 yrs old.

I still love medicine more. I feel it could benefit people around me.

and so one day, I was pondering about what to subspecialized in if I specialized in medicine.

I know it is too early to decide but I like to have some goals in life. Something to look forward to rather than stay in comfort plateau.

Medicine is so vast it covers almost the entire system. Heart, brain, eye, skin, lungs, gastrointestinal, kidneys , endocrine...

I have always always in love with cardiology. The Heart. It is too fascinating to learn about the electrical activity, physiology, the vessel territories, the disease etc2 .. I love

Suddenly one fine day, I had a chat with a friend. She asked - what do u wanna specialize in?
I answered -Cardio.

Her sister is a cardiologist in IJN. Very very busy. No time for family at all.

I had pins and needles since.

Last week I had a round with one of tHe specialist I adore. Had a small cHat wHile discussing case.

She asked me not to worry as I'll be exposed to so many during master programme and I will know what to do later. She said that cardiology is very very busy but very very nice .

She asked what kind of life do u want to have in future ? I told her, I want to have both. A time for family is for sure a want in my life.

Neurology ( the brain) or endocrine is a specialization that is very very nice to pursue in, and have time off from hospital too. No calls at night or during offdays/holidays like cardio.

Hhhhmmmm..

I have a heart for hearts but I need to open up to other system as my life may not cope well if I have too many hearts to handle. Sigh.

Hope isthikharah and tahajjud will lead me to a path that is a win win for family and carrier. and I think I'm starting to like neuro ;) I slamed neuroanatomy during my 1st year, who knows I was meant for neuro all along *winx*

xoxo

Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

Testing !

Test.. Test..

Can u see meee??


Just got to know that post can be made by writing an email !! Noob
Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

no bag. only RM10

I am a big spender. I admit.

To cover my guilt, I ONLY bring RM10 to work, never more but often less. So that I would spend appropriately on food. Eat only from the warungs and no pizzas, mcDs or nandos.

and...

I don't bring my purse to work. No ATM. No credit card. GOOD !

Which also means,  I don't bring along my license when driving .. For the past... *counting fingers*
Seven months !! ...

I do but very very seldom. Probably once a month I drive to work with driving license along.

and I have been walking around without my MyKAD too !...tsk tsk tsk
you may wonder what kind of person I am silently. "Unique" HUH -_-

Oh well, let's hope my working ID will save me when I'm in trouble ;))

Reason why I don't bring purse because I don't bring a bag to work. I go to hospital , bag-less.
So much hassle to stop by in the medical staff's room-park my bag-work-take my bag-go home. H.A.S.S.L.E!

and it is adding more weight on my shoulder.

I go to work with my white-coat on. Which contains stethoscope,  2 small note books, punch card, a lot of pen, 2 phones, a charger, a lot of scribble papers,car keys and sometimes my medical handbook. WEIGHT!!

and, I like it not wearing any bag ! so, people wouldn't know if I'm running late, or if I'm going off early than I should have. SMART kannnnnn? (i hope none of my bosses find out about this post)

Bag-less and RM10 to work daily is a double win, for me =)

Scent

A scent registers in our memory area including the environment you were in , the people you were with and maybe the feeling you had at that time. Brain do wonders huh ;)

In my case, it is always true. For some reason I believe human registers better memory with something simple i.e pictures and scent.

Just recently, hubby and I had our weekend getaway at Tanjong Jara Resort, Terengganu and we used body cream sample from L'erbolario called Papavero after shower and it smells super nice. First time with papavero. While I was unpacking at home, I smelled Ijul's used pjs and it smelled papavero. First thing that came to mind was Tg Jara !!, great time we had there flashed back. Missed.

Sometimes, when u smell something familiar for example a person wearing a perfume which another person wears, you can catch it up pretty quickly.

Another scenario was when I went to my Uncle's doa selamat few months back.  Greeted and salam-ed him and he smelled like Kaabah. He wore perfume bought @ Mekkah which have a scent smell similar to kaabah.
Tears started to pool, memories flashed back to blissful and peaceful environment. Place that I greatly missed.

Have you heard that when you are leaving your small child for a while, cover him/her with your used clothes so that he/her won't have trouble sleeping at night?

I believe scent is a powerful tool and so I usually tried my best to wear only "my signature" perfume which I ought to find (love wearing different kind of perfume) but so far, I have been loyal to my body cream I bought from L'erbolario. You know, so that people will miss me or remember me even more HAHA.

Honestly, after trying L'erbolario, I don't feel like downgrading myself.

I have tried  bodyshop and now I just go there for their vitamin E and great body mists, Crabtree? - nothing great much. L'occitane?- more to scent but moisture ? NAY!

L'erbolario "Petali & Fiori" was awesomatic ! I loved it and most importantly, Ijul loved it too ! you should try L'erbolario ! I am planning to get papavero soon !

For room/home scent, very very important. Makes us feel at home , a comfort feeling.
I always trust "karma karmet" for their great scent in living area. Owns by Bambang Soteto , remember him from Hairkunst entry last year? Yes, the owner of hairkunst is also managing karma karmet .. They have a shop at Tropicana Mall. Nothing beats karma karmet. I have tried those 100-200RM range , none last longer and especially not in my memory space.

 I feel a scent is a great way to create memory and to flashback great memories.

Spread some nice scents !

Dian Pelangi Malaysia ;)

Alhamdulillah, Mama has opened a boutique !!

She was aired in Nona 2 weeks ago, and now the shop is finally open !!!

Dian pelangi is a brand from Jakarta , owned by Dian herself who is a very talented, pretty and very young lady too ! Dian pelangi offers colourful outfit which mostly find them unique and irresistable.  And even before my mom brings the shop to Malaysia, Dian already has many followers especially among hijabers. Her hijab style is Fantageous ! She brings style to hijab !

Saturday , 10th March 2012, Dian pelangi malaysia was officially opened in Bangsar Jalan Telawi by TYANA.


TYANA is a unique name whereby the owners combined their names to one. TY is from KATHY, my mom's nick, and Ana is from Datin Ana Zakaria. They have been awesome together and have worked really hard to ensure their dream of opening a boutique be true. And what you see today, is their dream came true.

I took a leave for this special event, which was the soft launching of Dian Pelangi MALAYSIA.

We waited for the guests to be settled from 2pm-245pm. Our guest of honor on that day was Datin NorJuma. And she is another beauty inside out that I adore personally.

We had few delegates from Indonesia Embassy, fellow medias, relatives, friends and Dian followers which also Liked Dian Pelangi Malaysia page.

The event went well Alhamdulillah ! The two mommies opening speech were sweet and motivational.


The fashion show was a jaw-dropped. I really had my jaw opened during the runaway.

There were 7 models , 3 were Malaysians who were not well trained model but still looks just like one of them. And 4 indonesian models who studied in Malaysia, tall, and can model very well too!!!! With all of them wearing Dian collections, they all were just mesmerizing ! All DP collections were to die for !!

I feel like I want all of what they were modelling. Even a crumpled hijab looked stylo ! hehe..

The event ended at 5.30pm which followed by a high-tea and 10% OFF for Dian Pelangi collections ! First day was ALHAMDULILLAH. I could not express more but I am definitely proud ;)
A BIG CONGRATULATIONS to Mama and Aunty Ana ;)


They organised a hijab workshop by Dian which was free of charge on the next day 11/3/2012. I was not able to attend as I had to work. But I heard the turn out was great ! 40 ++ hijabers attended the workshop !

Do visit us !! I'll be around during my off days which will not necessarily falls on weekend.

We are situated at BUTIK DIAN PELANGI, No 17-1, Jalan Telawi 2, Bangsar. 
Same row as Devi's corner, above Lanna Restaurant , Next to Mimpi kita, Opposite La Bodega ;) 
Don't forget to LIKE us on DIAN PELANGI MALAYSIA facebook page and follow us on twitter @DianPelangiMY

Hope to see some familiar faces around !! spread this good news ! and look forward for another section in Nona this week or next ! ;)


p/s : i had my girls worn Dian Pelangi during my Wedding Reception last year ;)

 xoxo =)

tough call

we get difficult calls sometime that we were forced to face.
calls which is difficult for us and for the patient's relatives.

there was this one particular time of the day, where this patient suddenly desaturated, and then collapsed.
we attempted intubation and infused inotropes to keep the heart beating and keep the blood flow good.

That patient, lasted through the day.. but when night came by, fate turned around.

His peripheries suddenly became cold and blue, he desaturated even on high oxygen flow.
His heart slowed, his pressure went haywire and we attempted CPR and maximised the inotropes.

After 20minutes of CPR, he did not revived but his heart showed electrical activity. His eyes were fully dilated.

He had pulse which were very very feeble , that some of us thought it was just our imagination as it was too difficult to palpate.

We continued CPR for another 20minutes, and one of us stopped the inotropes.

Formally, CPR is commenced for 20 minutes before we confirmed death.

After another 20minutes CPR, he did not revived and electrical activity to the heart started faded and later, went flat lined.

Question is, are we at fault for stopping the inotropes? in most cases, they never revived after 20minutes of CPR even on maximised inotropes.

In my view, we are not wrong. We could just let inotropes run and stop CPR, and the heart will eventually stop too. Eyes were dilated is already a sign of brain death. A brain death is as good as death. And it is normal for a heart to show some activity after a person already dead because organ died at different time. and by continuing inotropes, will just make the process longer.

tough call huh?

cook. .

have i ever told u how worried i was previously in terms of satisfying my hubs tummy...? Well, ,not anymore..

alhamdulillah after few months of marriage, i acquired cooking skills which are ppppprrrretty satisfying *chin up*

I always believe that  when your 'nawaitu' is right, which is to please your husband, insyaAllah everything goes purfectly.. (God knows how many time I recited "bismillah" while cooking, ehehehe)

and of course, a great cook comes from a great food eater/taster/critisizer !

what surprised me even more is that HE CAN COOK and a BETTER COOK ..

hushfully, thank god . hehehehe..

xoxo

p.s I love you

i love it when there is so much love to come home to 

work is yay

I'm entering my 5th month of housemanship. Just ended surgery, and now in medical department.
Initially, I was a lil skeptical of work and how I would perform and how my life would be once work started.
But Alhamdulillah, it has been smooth sailing and have been unexpectedly good.

New cases to see, new people to meet, understanding colleagues and bosses and how to work with and around them and etc etc. The downside of my work is how my biological clock has never been normal and we all knew that from start of medical school.

My working hours were 7am-6pm most of the days but some days were 11am-11pm and 10am to 10pm. Government has imposed this new work schedule for housemen in order to accomodate the high medical graduates and to ensure everyone gets equal opportunity to the workload and experiences.

and the time when we were supposed to go back is the minimum time.If there were cases to see, patients to treat or to settle their discharges, pending works, patient collapsed , reports to write etc etc etc... then we had to go back later than we were supposed to.

I seldom complained of how nasty my work or how terrible my schedules are. And i think, none of us should. If those who complained a lot, probably they had chosen the wrong road to begin with. Except for when I had a terrible day, I do let some grumbling out. Not everyday is perfect.

I love medical. I have prefer medical since I start learning medicine.

For those who might be confused, doctors have so many fields to choose from. Surgery is when they deal with blades and sutures, abscess and ass-es. Surgery and Medicine might co-incides but they deal differently. Medicine does not deal with operating theaters like surgeons do.

For example , kidney. If you have kidney failure , it is under medicine. but if you have stones in the kidneys or kidney cancer- those are under surgical. Heart- if you have problem with heart, valve or hypertension, those are under medicine but if u need to do bypass surgery - that would be under surgery.

and we have other fields too eg, paediatric (which i fancy too) , orthopedic - bones , obstetric and gynaecologist - mainly babies and vaginas , and whoa! so much to put in a list.

Medicine itself are already big. we have nephrology, cardiology, neurology, gastroenterology, dermatology, hematology etc etc etc.. Basically, if you aim to be a consultant and see patients and not cut them , then medical is the field you should aim for and I am aiming for that =)

and just few days ago, my specialist compliment me in front of my colleagues for my good performance =D it surely would sound unfair to the others since that was my 5th day of work in medical dept but it surely made me feel great and much more motivated in this field.

MRCP, wait up ! ;)