a but in a perfect picture.

Our brain stops developing when we reached 25 for the ladies and 27 for the gentlemen. Develop in the sense to become more mature in decision making. That is why, at the early 20's, we might have numerous doubts in life. Ambivalence they called it.

YES..
Maybe No..
YES YES CONFIRMED.
erm, i was wrong. Maybe NO.
aaaahhh, just go for it. YES it is.

THAT's the example for ambivalence.

Unfortunately, we need to make a huge decision at that stage when we are not mature enough.

Choosing a career & deciding which occupation to pursue in, which boy/girl shall one choose to be their life partner.

Don't worry, I'm not bragging about the choice I've made. To get married at the age of 24 years old. Nothing to brag of, because choice made was pretty affirmative =p

It is HUGE that most of us had to choose their career at the age of 18. Pretty ridiculous too! Mind boggling and torturing.

And that is where parents play their role. Choosing what they think is best for their kids, future & family.

I’ve got nothing much to complain. But because I was having pretty tough adolescent-hood throughout my university life, I deserve to grumble.


Not to say that I was not blessed enough. Truly, I am! However perfect a picture is, there is always a BUT in it.

Some of us are lucky enough to like what they chose. Few were unlucky that they thought they like and found out that they didn’t like what they chose and have a passion for something else. Some felt as if been forced to do things that they have no passion into, and yet have no other choice. A number of them are passionate, but have difficulties to make it through.


As for me, I am passionate to take medicine & Alhamdulillah, I can cope with them. I love medicine so much I would not mind staying in the hospital all day. I like medicine since I was a kid. Even though my parents encouraged me and was a little pushy during the applications, I still can’t deny it that I could not picture myself other than being a doctor.

The big BUT in this picture is that, I’m not happy. I’m happy when I’m in the hospital, learning new stuff, seeing cool signs and symptoms. But I’m not happy at the environment I’m in. God, how I wished my crazy best friends would have taken the same course as I did. I wished for that almost every day.


It is insane really, to complain. Not like I don’t have friends in Melaka. I have. Many!

Some are pretty cool and most of them are nice. But, it is just not the same.

Then, I felt much motivated. I see them study, I get motivated. They see me study, they get motivated. We would race till who would last longer through the night. And we would envy those with big eye-bags, because we know she studied too hard that she did not sleep.

In the university, for the past 4years ++, I’ve been alone almost all the time. But I loved being alone. Everybody has their things to do, errands to run and schedule to obey. I would hate it if someone were to disturb me. Hence, alone is good for me.

All of us have one goal, to pass MBBS. I like it when we had extra classes and group studies. But when we don’t, I don’t benefit much. I’m such a mess when I’m alone. Thank God I have pretty good hippocampus.

That is why I always asked if my friends would want to study together. BUT THEY ALWAYS PREFER TO BE IN THEIR ROOM! honestly, it is nice to be in the room ! I loved being in my room ! so comfy.

And then, I would forced my best friends to accompany me online. One in Japan, another in Damansara, and the other in Klang. Forced them to force me study. Make them stay awake until I finished studying! pfft. pathetic !

Also, I get motivated when I see my uncle does his work in his clinics, or when I’m with my cousins talking about medicine. But, I’m lacking these motivations.

So, how do we solve this? A person who is extremely passionate, but lack of motivation.