Kids and I are like magnets. At least, in my point of view.

I love kids.

I just love them. Eventhough at home, I am stuck with annoying-toddler-Ellyssa, I still LOVE kids.

I love kids, and they love me too ! I sounded too confident, yes? OK-OK.. maybe not ALL kids are fond of me.

Especially, in the wards, just by wearing a white coat already made the poor-child anxious.

However, when at home, or friend's place, or family's place, or anywhere with kids around, they love me. Cause I love them. Law of Attraction. Have u heard of that? =p

FINE, except ELLYSSA. She hates me. cause i am a big buly. but she is the rare-kind. Who dislike cutie-ME.

Look at her expression..pfftt

So, Now, at this age, whereby I am in between the stage of adolescent and adulthood, along with the plans to get married in near-future, I have this consciousness of showing my love to babies & kids, especially when there were people around.

They will start to tease -- " eh , tak sabar nak ada anak?" or, how we handled babies and kids , how we played with them, were we good to kids-- will be judged , in someways that I would not realized, but I am conscious about it. HA-HA !

They would say - BE YOU !

BUT seriously, tell me how to BE YOU when all eyes are at YOU .. ??

hahahahahaha ! have u ever had the same experience as I did? cause there is no way I could control this concious-freak level , and i think the only treatment is to have a baby of my own . And then I could be MYSELF.

rephrase...Baby of my own? that would not be anytime soon. Most of my friends are having baby soon and some already delivered. Kids are irresistable !! The LOVE can't be kept inside, y'knowwwww .... heeheeeee =))

Problems about maids are endless, no?

It's quite interesting to hear moms complaining about MAIDS. Especially on this year's Raya, almost every houses that I went , topics about maids would not be missed.

"eh, maid aku aritu lari rumah"

"eh, maid aku tak nak kerja. dah la penipu"

etc etc etc..

and then, one of the aunt who saw me listening said, "one day, u will be like us , talking about maids " .. *speechless*

My family has a lot of experiences with maids . The problematic ones however outnumbered the good ones.

Those who ran away were the top most in rank. The latest occured 2-3 months ago when my mom went out to fetch Ewanina and left Ellyssa(4yrs old) alone at home with the maid. When they got back, they were shocked the door wasn't locked, and Ellyssa was all by herself , alone-at-home-watching-TV.

Another maid,a lil bit wanked-off , who had once gave a knife to my mom and ordered my mom to kill her after being scolded for not doing proper job. This same maid, psycho she is , pulled out a few teeth after my brother complained how bad her mouth odour were. Her work was a mess, she improperly arranged things and put everything upside down, inside out. *sigh*

Those who got sent back because they could not work, those with medical diseases, those who got pregnant and we managed her till she delivered and also been sent out after, bla bla bla..

The good ones were few. Alhamdulillah we just received a good one few weeks back. She can't cook because the last time we asked her to cook vegetables, she added sugar into it.. *HAHA*

But she is really good. She worked like a robot which we all wished she would have an OFF switch. Once she starts with a specific work, she would not stop and would not care what is happening in other areas of the house. pfft ! but Alhamdulillah, really !

I could not imagine how my life would take me in future.

Definitely we would be needing one , as my work is around the clock most of the time. and he too. Or maybe we shall depend on the parents :D omg , .. when will you be independent?

u know.. help to take care of the kids when we are not around. IF they don't mind us borrowing their maids and we could send our laundry to their places so that the maids could help us do laundry and borrow their maids to do house cleaning once a week. heheheee

Sounds like a good idea, ain't it? *grinnnnnnnnsssss*

Final Semester, Here I come..

My seniors have just received their results and most of them that I know, all PASSED !

I'm SO ENVIOUS !! I just couldn't wait for my turn , next. InsyaAllah, if God permits me. Congratulations B17 doctors who made it !

Although passing MBBS is just like saying HELLO TO NO LIFE, but, it's worth all the 5-years effort. It's nice when people called u doctor when u actually are, rather than people called u doctor and you would reply -- "soon".. BOO !

My next posting is O&G (obstetrics & gynaecology). Its a medicine dealing with Women. Y'know: menstruation, pregnancy, labour, after labour, and all the disorders relating to ovary, uterus, cervix, vagina, etc.

am i looking forward ?

to learn- YES !

to experience- YES !

but to meet with the faculty members - a BIG FAT NO NO !

urgh, i don't know why I dislike the faculties in MMMC . Let's just put the complains aside.

O&G for final year students will be different. We would be expose with many labours, would be given an opportunity to be in labour room from 9pm to 9am which is GREAT, really ! because most babies were born in the middle of the night. And final years could also deliver babies, deliver placentas or do per-vagina examinations. I, would love to try those.

Allah's greatest creation could be seen clearly during O&G posting. How a cell grow to become a human, how a small organ like a uterus (rahim) could expand enormously during pregnancy, and how it became near to normal size immediately after labour, how God Almighty has made the mothers forget the pain they went through labour cause really if He does not erase the pain memory , none of the mothers would want to have another baby. How great is that?

If u ask a mother - is labour painful? how severe/bad is the pain ?

They would answer: VERY PAINFUL. But none could describe, coz the memory has faded.

none will. until the next labour comes, they will experience it again and would forget bout the pain after and the cycle repeats. =)

I say HELLO to final semester. My vision for this semester is to learn everything thoroughly and to pass with ease.

My missions are :-

*to dump myself in the library everynite.

*to be attentive during posting

*to control myself from going back home every weekend.

My missions sounded impossible to achieve. But atleast I have the effort to have a mission,

right ? eheh !

I don't get it.

I don't get it when people wanted me to join in discussion, but when idea been told , it would be rejected straight without any considerations.

I don't get it , why people have to raise voice, over a potato.

I don't get it, why people transverse anger to the innocent ones, just so that they feel better.

I don't get it, when I answered, they would say I'm being disrespectful. When really, I was just answering your questions.

I don't get it..

Although, I don't get it.. Although, I hate it.. I feared of becoming the person I dislike. One day, it will be the other way round. Where people would say the same things over my actions.

that they DON'T GET ME.

I don't get it. Cause really, I am 5 years old.

Selamat Hari Raya !

Hey everyone, How's Raya for all of you? although its very late to wish, but they say - better late than never =) so, SELAMAT HARI RAYA !! MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN .. sorry for any wrongs done intentionally or non intentionally. we are all a normal human being that tends to do mistakes all the time.

Raya has been great to me. This might be the last raya as a single lady with my family. First day of raya, I was touched by the fact that this is the last raya with my family. Next year , I would have to follow my husband's decision. In Islam, wife has to respect the husband's decision.

I got to celebrate Raya with family since 2008 after completing first phase in India for 2years and half.

However when i got to Raya with family, My sister , Eryanie had left to New Zealand in February 2008.

And the last time we got to celebrate raya as a whole family was in 2005 ( I left in 2006,Mac) but at that time, Ellyssa (the youngest in family) was not born yet. So, in conclusion, since Ellyssa was born, the family never had a RAYA where everyone is around. :(

However, being apart during raya, despite having classes on Raya day, i bet my sister ERYANIE is doing great in NZ..

She is strong girl inside out, she has great dreams to achieve, and she knows that we are here supporting her, always. I know it is sad to be away for raya. I HATE IT TOO. I celebrated two Raya-s in India, and i did not like it.

I would cry when i heard takbir raya (takbir raya :wordings where they praise Allah Almighty, during the first 3days of Raya), cry again when calling the family to ask for forgiveness, cry endlessly .. ~SUX~

BUT i know she did OKAY on raya day.

hehehe, SEE?? i told u so ;) look at the thumbs up !

I tried my best not to make her cry on the phone , eventhough i love to do so.. HEHE !

ERYANIE, WE LOVE U !

and to all readers, Selamat Hari Raya !! and sorry for any wrongs done.

From a Driver's Heart.

I was driving back from Melaka, I was bypassing a van and the van was filled with a family. The dad and sons were wearing 'songkok' and there were baju raya hung at the back of the van.

They must be on their way back to their hometown, i thought. *smiled* I could not stare at them for more than 2 seconds as I was driving, mind you ..hehe..

And through out the way, I stared on my road and the opposite. Both packed. Suddenly I remembered the post my cousin put up on her facebook wall, advising people to drive safe to their hometowns as she will be on-call tonight.

Accident & Emergency ( A&E ) department were at their peak,, especially during festivals. Giving me an idea on my new post.

DRIVE SAFE ! Everyone would advice.

But DRIVE SAFE does not register any clear picture in mind. To make people understand, advices should be more specific and in-detail.

On the highway, there are 3 lanes max and 2 lanes minimum. Fast drivers would prefer to be on the right lane but even if you're driving audi, porsche, mercedes, BMW, volvo and all the supercars, you should remember that even how fast your car is, how good the brakes are, how strong the body of the car built, how good airbags would deployed.. The force of impact is equal to velocity of speed.

Your car will be just like a regular metalpiece when you are driving at that speed. That speed would mean 160km/h or even, more than 200km/h.

I know i know, I'm not the best person to be giving this advice as I, myself drive exceeding the speed limit. But hey, I CARE ABOUT YOU, OKAY? and i do care about myself too.

When you drive fast, it's difficult for you to make quick decision especially when there is a sudden obstacle appeared infront of you. (slow cars would reach the obstacle at a slower pace). The only thing you could do is to jam the brakes , fast and hard. OH, if you're smart enough, you would shift the gear down and break. BUT at times when you're panicky, anything could happen.

It is also difficult to control your car when you're at a high speed.

If you're driving fast, you would be braking most of the time when you reached a slower cars ahead of you. You will be consuming more oils by doing so. Hence, why speeding at 180km/h and brake 100times on 3hour journey, when you could drive at 140km/h - constant speed without braking? You would reach to your destination , the same time as the constant 140km/h drivers. SAME TIME-SAVE FUEL

And fast drivers should be on RIGHT LANE ONLY. Not overtaking from left lane. Because, drivers seldom look at their left side mirrors. and if the car on your right suddenly shift lanes when you are overtaking them.... *you are welcome to imagine what will happen*

OK enough of those fast drivers. SLOW drivers are those driving within speed limits or way below speed limits. They should be on the left lanes .. Not on the right most lane.

Because when you are SLOW like a SNAIL, you'll be causing trouble for the fast drivers as they had to brake continuously, you'll be making their journey slower , and you will be making them insanely mad !! Why not just lower down your ego, and be on the left lane instead? Safe the trouble for everyone , will it not?

Some drivers love to put on high beam lights. HELLO? I know the road is freaking dark , but please be considerate as other drivers could not wear dark shades to avoid your bright lights while driving in the dark.. ! and IT CAUSES SEVERE HEADACHE & EYEACHE. To stare on the dark road beyond, but indirectly their vision is also glared by the bright light on the rear mirror. Or even worst , if that car is on the opposite road.

Another immature drivers , who does not know how to predict the speed of the car approaching them from the right lane, would abruptly change lanes . WORST if they did not signal before doing so. OHMY, SERIOUSLY? because of your immaturity, you may cause an accident. Please dear drivers, LOOK-SIGNAL-DECIDE-DRIVE.

We are all human beings and the only language we could understand is human language. WHO ON EARTH SPEAKS CAR LANGUAGE? Please don't assume others would understand your car language when you don't signal.

It's easy. The button is on the left or right side of your wheel. Just flick it, and the signal light will be on. IS IT DIFFICULT?

Don't tail-gate. You will not know when the car you are tailgating emergency brakes.

Don't sway when you are driving. If u feel like swaying, go to the playground already and play on the swing. Ask your wife or friend to sing you a lullaby.

PLEASE. If you are tired, have a rest, have a coffee. JUST STOP and REST. Don't continue your journey when you are having a fatigue mind. Fatigue mind has slower duration of response, not alert and may cause danger to yourself, the person riding with you and other cars . STOP and REST.

Please be careful with motorcyclist. Signal to let them know if you are changing direction. Let them pass before you , to avoid any accident. And sometimes they don't have brake lights on their bike, so please be extra careful.

And motorcyclist should avoid riding behind the bus. I know the wind blowing on your face is ANNOYING and shielding behind a bus would be comfortable but please avoid this. Sudden stoppage of the bus would cause big trouble for a smaller vehicle like you.

Remember that your hometown is not going anywhere. They are there, waiting for you to come back safely. But if anything happens to you, you will not return, forever.. How much despair it might cause to the loved ones? to the ones waited for your return? and the trouble you may cause to other drivers? to the loved ones riding with you?

I may not know what future has written for me. But I do know, each lives are important. Each of us are equal. Each of us is a someone to somebody.

I've changed. From 180km/h to 140km/h. I've become more patient in driving. I'd kept adequate distance from the car in front of me.

I've changed to become a better person. When is your turn?

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri !

For the Beautiful Mother =)

ehem.. ehem.. EHEMMMMMMMMMMMM.. !!

8th of September, 2010

A special day when my mom turned _ _ years old =) hehe !

I would not tell her age because to me, she is twenty-five ! XD

Top: Mama & I when I was ONE year old.

Top: Mama & I , when I was THREE/FOUR

Her love is eternal & infinite, impossible to be replaced nor be repaid. Her heart is so kind that it had touches many souls, including her own daughter. She is one perfectionist woman , has a strong characteristics and instincts, fierce like a beautiful tigress but angel at heart.

She is a mother with a HUGE dream for her children & family.

A mother who made every impossible, possible. She does not afraid to aim high, because sky was her limit.

My siblings and I are where we are now, because of she. (Eryanie, Ekhwan & I especially).

To be a future doctor, accountant & engineer in future insyaAllah. She has taught us to become a better, stronger, independent and well brought-up person. A person with great values.

Top: At KLIA, before my first flight to India Mac 2006

Top: At Manipal, India (forgotten the name of the beach) April 2006 when they came for a visit. She was pregnant at 4 months of gestation.

Top: At Penang.

Bottom: At Penang. Who would u think were the real one talking on the phone?

Top: At KGNS for lunch

Bottom: Singapore on Christmas Last year

Mama, on your special day.. I would like to wish you

HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY !!!!!

may all your wishes come true

may you be blessed by Allah with His greatest eternal Rahmah

wish you a happy, long , healthy & prosperous life

I thanked ALLAH so much, for giving us YOU , mama .

and I still need your guidance, love , support and especially your Doa, always :)

I love you from the bottom of the bottom of the bottom of my heart :)

and she does look like twenty -five isn't she ? =)

p/s: she warned me not to write about her on the blog, but on a special occasion i could not resist ;)

and, i wish i could put a song as a background, but i've got no idea.

Bye now.

Life is...

A friend once told me

" Life is too short to achieve everything "

If u took accountancy, u will be doing accountancy & prolly business. Same goes to teachers, lecturers, engineers etc.

However, I feel that by doing MBBS (bachelor in medicine and surgery), you can choose whether to practice medicine (with a whole lot of diversities) , manage hospital by taking up hospital management later, do lab works eg pathology, do forensic medicine, do business, or become a politician (like Tun Dr.Mahathir).

Being said that, does not mean that a doctor could achieve all of the list mentioned in his life. True?

I had another friend, who loved to try everything. She tried working as an accountant, working in Forex, joining one of the political party, and etc2.

someone asked , " why do u kept changing your occupation?"

she answered , "because i wanted to experience the feeling of each. feeling of being the top in corporate companies, or being part of politicians. Not that I wanted to become a politician nor a corporate manager for the rest of my life "

Fair enough .. It is true though,, It is impossible to know everything in one time living.

You can never learn about astrology if u were to learn about engineering.

Or to know about human medicine when u took up animal medicine. etc etc etc..

unless if u have the perseverance to take many many degrees and work at many many places ..

of course you could learn a little bit of everything, but just a little bit. True, no?

Allah's knowledge is mighty enourmously wide .. MashaAllah..

im not a lady driver.

some lady drivers would drive me insanely mad.

those slow ones..

those who didn't signal before entering

the kurang ajar ones..

those impatient drivers

the indecisive drivers..

i came out from a junction, wanted to enter one of the lanes on the right , however the lanes were already packed.. ques were long as all the cars were waiting for traffic light to turn green..lines were too long - exceeded the junction where i came out from.

I would have to partially sneaked in btwn the cars who were already there in the line , signalling right, letting them know that I would be entering that lane ones light turn green.

few seconds later, the car in that lane, on my right, went extremely closed to the car infront of her. i LOOKED at the driver and she was making some idiotic angry face , nonverbally telling me off.

my treshold of patience are low when i'm behind my wheels.

cut things short, i showed my middle finger to her, n took another route. i scared if i were to stay there any longer, i might roll down my window , and scratch her car with my coin in front of her (since her car is really just not too far from mine), or i might open my door, and drag her out of her car and start cat fighting.

so stupid, bulan puasa nak buat marah.

she is a MALAY btw ! muda pulak tu. baru dapat lesen gaknye..

JUST THINK FOR A SECOND,the light is RED, IS THE CAR INFRONT OF U MOVING???????

if the lights turned green, would it be much of a different if i sneaked in front of her? why were she being very impatient anyway? did i not give signal? did she not learn that on the road, we have to be a little bit considerate at times? fine, she might have thought that i came from behind, intentionally wanted to cut the que. DID SHE WAITED THAT LONG?? i don't think so. as far as i'm concern, the line would move every 4-5 minutes. must she show that face? can she not keep the anger to herself?

oh prolly she thought i was a chinese driver, and she might have said

" DAH LA CINA, PEREMPUAN PULAK TU, MENTANG MENTANG DRIVE KERETA CANTIK, NAK POTONG SUKA HATI "..

aihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. apa2 je la.. naseb baik ako tak calar kereta engkau la !

I am not a LADY when i DRIVE. I am a MAN behind my wheels. TAKENOTE !

Nothing is impossible, I guess..

On weekdays, though I've got plenty of medical agoing, most of them were absolutely depressing. As monday comes, I would countdown for Friday to arrive. Not that I didn't enjoy medical school.. It is TOO stucked up, and my college is not the best college in the world ( would be another long list if i were to file a complaint about yem yem yem cee )

and medical friends were not all FUN to hang with. My day to day living activities are ... HMMPPHHH let's just not go there.

so back to the main THING..

I've always excited especially when it is FRIDAY.

YES, i'll drive back home. YES, lovely family, great mom's dishes, fun bullying sisters and home is a comfort zone area where I could do ANYTHING without worrying ANYTHING (except if i make blunders in the kitchen). YES, boyfriend terchenta and YES my crazeee girlfriends. FRIDAY is just a superb day of all WEEK,, for now ..

So i was thinking of doing or achieving something before i graduate. Aside from MBBS, i NEED to achieve something new.

I'm twenty three and 2010 is ending in 4months time . *PAUSED* 3months time. then comes 2011. I'm ending my singlehood soon, I'm ending my pure- Student life soon, I'm ending my adolescent life soon, I'm ending my luxurious care under my beloved daddy n mommy.. SOON! omg omg ! i need to achieve SOMETHING.

I've taken up ballet lesson when i was 6years old - stopped after few months. I played piano when i was young - stopped twice and never completed grade one. I've learned to horseback riding and YES - i could canter confidently & did pole jumping (once, only once did jumping). So horse riding by far is my strongest point. Would love to continue but mom scared I would end up injured before my big day, worried I'll be walking with crutches down the isle.. SIGH.

YES , i've learned cooking but that is not something NEW to achieve at this point of time.

I NEED ENDORPHINS.. its a HAPPY HORMONE f.y.i

Hence i was thinking of taking DANCE class eg salsa, latin, pop, ballroom, whateva types of dancing but definitely not BALLET or GYMNAST .. i might cracked my BONEs & JOINTS and wtvr ajoining them,, and i know myself-- i'm not elastic HAHA..

or the easiest would be aerobic ??

Other options are defensive skills class.. eg capoiera, jiujitsu, karate, taekwando, kickboxing *ohmy all sounded scary i wouldn't think my mom would let me pursue* .. My besty, Alia suggested kickboxing , wonder if she was serious about it.

LAST, would be to take up piano , again. crashcourse and thats it. I just feel like taking up something and be good at it. not just dance in the room without proper lesson or do childish karate with your siblings.

I have few problems btw.. one, IM A LAZY PERSON. i've got a big ambition but as lazy as the donkey.

two, i need a friend. three, i have no idea where these activities would be held within the vicinity.

HEADACHE, no?

after a long silent, a REALLY REALLY long silent, i've just thought of blogging..

so i've decided to take baby steps ya? ;)

Today we had medical ethics in the afternoon. It was boring. All lectures are boring. But the doctor told us an incident that occured to him in Melaka General Hospital sometime back which interest me & would like to share to all..

There was once , a girl 19yo came to the hospital with a headache and was admitted at 530pm approx. The MO (medical officer) incharge was giving diagnosis of tension headache or a migraine. so anyways, they did a CTscan. At night, they did Night Rounds with Specialist on call & when they reached the girl's bed, MO mentioned that this girl is just having a headache , and brought the specialist to another bed, ignoring the kid. Ignoring the CTscan report done earlier that evening , too.

So around 11pm, girl wanted to go to the bathroom, and as she walked out from the loo, she collapsed. GCS (glasgow coma scale) was 8/15 - which means severe , which also means patient is unconcious. And then the MO realized that he/she did not review the CTscan reports. So she(lets pretent its a SHE) view and there were intracerebral haemorrhage (bleeding in the brain). Ordered another CTscan and again, another negligent act by not intubating the patient who's GCS is 8/15. She did not follow the pt to the CTscan room as there was another case that needs her attention.

Well, by now we could guess what had happened to that poor girl.. yes, she died on the CTscan machine.. girl's dad was a businessman and uncle was a lawyer. Her uncle hesitated to keep quiet and brought the case to the court.

Case settled with compensation paid to the family from Ministry of health.. MO been sent to a very outskirt place and her pursue for masters were affected ( if u're doing masters, u would be attach to a Big hospital ).. and the Housemen under the MO were extended without pay..

????? hours hours and hours of negligence. If they were to view the CT reports during night rounds, the girl might be saved. If the girl were to be intubated when gcs was found to be severe, girl would be saved too.. is this fate? were the girl was fated to die on CT table? or would she, the MO who is a doctor be blamed for killing the patient?

Doctor ain't easy job. I'm approaching the finish line of MBBS soon, and honestly, im not ready to face the world. People make mistakes all the time, but we learn from them. Lesson for today is to NOT underestimate a HEADACHE. Every cases are important even a mild cough is important. Every patient is a someone to somebody and every patient in the ward deserves equal treatment from a Doctor.