my mind goes blank..

...whenever I think of the life after student-life.Which includes everything.

The wedding, the after wedding, the responsibilities as a wife, the work, the juggling btwn work & wifey duty, work , work, work..

OK, the work part is unimaginable. As a student, I have been going to hospital almost everyday for the past 3years. But it is not enough to give the clear picture what housemanship is all about .. DUH ! all we do is take case, present case, and study. JUST A CASE daily. Housemen usually take 20cases per day? or 50 ++ in outpatient? darn, i really don't know.

It is fun to graduate. To hear people call you doctor & congratulate for your 5years achievement. But actual speaking, it is a huge responsibilities. Handling lives are not as easy as handling money, computer, cars, pen & papers. You and me are a living object. We breathe, we grow, we live, we think, we remember and we have emotions.

But beneath all the scary eery feelings, it is still exciting to actually handle lives. Feels heroic ;))

I often think on how life would be after working. But nothing come to the picture. except for a big Question mark.

I'm not perfect, but I aim for perfections. Hence , I do plan for this and that but when it comes to life when working.. I could only HOPE. and pray ofcourse. For His eternal best most guidance & help.

What I hope is,, to be a good doctor and a good wife. A good daughter to both families and a good mother in future. These are my hopes. Words sounded so BIG with no clear picture in it. NO CLEAR PICTURE AT ALL..

Dr. Fadzilah Kamsah mentioned before. To aim for something, you have to have a clear picture. eg : I should say I want to be a good daughter by learning how to cook , rather than I want to be a good daughter. COOK is a picture. GOOD is not a picture.

hahaha! NOW, I can't give the clear picture. Because I have not experience most of the hopes except for being a daughter of Effandie & Khadijah.

There's a quote saying, "you will not know the depth of the sea until you enter the sea" .. I will not know what I will go through in future and how to handle them until I am in it.

Let's hope for the best , shall we ;))