epidural or not?

This disturbs me.. Which would I choose for pain relief while in labor.

There are 3 types.
- gas , layman calls it laughing gas whilst we medical ppl call it enthonox.
It acts by giving some relief of pain but what I think is that it made u high in some way where ur mind dont really focus on the pain. Some vomits taking the gas, but most still feels the pain even by inhaling the gas.

-opioids. Most often they give is pethidine , injected most commonly on the buttocks.
Painful !! And it also acts as sedative. Actions are pretty slow, some feels really sleepy when they are fully and bearing down. Still, most do feel pain but treshold varies. Better as compared to gas.
The drawback of pethidine is that not only it made u , the one in labor sleepy. It also made the baby sleep. Baby sometimes come out not crying as active as they are sedated by the meds, but we usually give antidote right after baby was born to the baby.. and sometimes, CTG in labor may shows sleeping pattern (not convincing) and some practitioner, they wouldnt want to risk it and opt for caesarean section..

Lastly.. epidural
The best pain relief, ever ! No doubt. Eventhough very few might still perceive pain bt mostly are satisfied with it.

My colleague recently delivered this morning, she took epidural when she's dilated 4cm. She slept soundly till she was fully dilated ! She did not feel any pain at all and she was satisfied. Eventhough to get the baby out takes longer time, but she was pain free the whole time ! She fully recommends epidural to me ..

Epidural..hmmmmmm

What scares me is not feeling the pain. Because that pain makes u push for the baby to come out. And instrumental delivery is high when u take epidural. Since effort is poor  , baby cannot be inside for too long so to aid the baby out, ended up with vacuum or forcep.

I have no idea what to go for pain relief. Really no idea !!!!!

I was just hoping that my pain is severe only when im more than 6cm dilated, and not to wait too long ?

Or.. I was hoping that I would have high pain treshold and when the pain comes, Ill try to distract myself with packing or cooking or watching tv or walking till the pain is once every 3 mins ? Hmm..

Clueless ... gas will be my only choice for now thou. Im just afraid if i regret not taking epidural when im already more than 6cm dilated. and they will not allow for epidural at that time

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30 weeks...

..pregnant now.

My thoughts right now :
1. Will I be able to go through normal labor
2. Will I be strong enough to withstand labor pains
3. Will I need any pain relief?
4. Can my baby withstand the stress of labor?
5. Will my baby be alright..

And the list goes on.

The fear is there for almost everything. Palpitates everytime I overthink about it.

But everytime baby dance inside, it soothes me somehow. :)

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all the little things

Ijul owned a honda civic fd2r before. I know he loved that car so much, and i loved it too. And it is so easy to know that he's nearby with that particular engine sound that the car made.

3 - 4 months pregnant, he decided to let it go after 5 yrs. I can tell that he cried inside aloud , but too 'macho' to show. He said : ' this car doesnt fit if we are going to have a family' (awww teared)

And car is very bumpy. Not so safe for pregnancy.

Ijul has been great. I love him and couldn't thanked Allah so much for blessing me with a great person to love and live with.

Almost everyday he would fetch me from work. Layan my food aversions (choosy a bit during pregnant) , layan all my emotional moments and worked really hard to ensure that we can live on our own and not relying on anyone else.

He's great. We stayed in kl but since pregnant, we seldom stay there as it is always easy for me to eat at home and take a holiday from cooking , laundry etc. And our workplace is in kl! We travelled daily but he never complains.

Whenever he fetched me from work, ill be in a hungry state. And one fine random day, i would get a vitagen and chocs/chips in the car to munch on the way back home.

My obgyn is dato dr siti at sjmc, and she is a very popular obgyn. People sacrificed to wake up at 630am to grab the earlier numbers.

We usually take the saturday appointment as it is convenient for he and i. He would wake up and take the number for me early at 7am and if im not working, he asked me to sleep and rest instead when i offered to go and breakfast together while waiting. Declined ! Forced me to sleep.

These small little things made me happy. I don't need a billboard of announcement telling the world he loves me, or flowery poem to express his feelings or weekly bouquet of flowers to wowed me.

These small things are good enough. Because small things made bigger things extra special ;-) 

Thanks sayang for being perfectly you ;-)

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gym is NAY

married.family.work.friends.

I quit fitness first just recently. Work itself can be considered exercise in my case..  and after work, I don't see running is even useful anymore. For cardio yes, but if persistency is a problem it won't benefit much.

I have stopped since pregnant and even before, I have difficulties commiting myself for gym.

soo.. Yep, I quit for good and will never resort for gym anymore.

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first trimester

It wouldn't be that bad, I thought..

And when the symptoms start coming...

The nausea and vomiting as some referred to morning sickness, mine was evening.

It first came at 6 weeks. First time, oddly, I smiled and laughed gleefully feeling so proud to have the symptom ! Common symptoms everyone has in pregnancy and I have it too!! A proof that there's a miracle growing inside of me..

But after few episodes of sickness, no.more.smiles. Mine was not that bad but I had them. Maybe once or twice tops per day, and it occured every other day or 2 days free before the sickness reappear.

I had food aversions too! Curry was a definite NO ! up till now after passing 1st trimester, I had a lil phobia with curry and usually takes them very lil.

I was a seafood lover but not anymore when pregnant. I can eat but I dont go craze about it.

I love sup daging even at my 1st trimester. But at current, sup daging is a bit geli for my throat. LoL..

Thank god my love to chocolate never changed ;-)

I cannot take lamb. I took once a month back, and I ended with a bad throbbing headache with 5days of fever. very
very.bad.

Cravings?? no! but choosy, very much yea.

Sense of smell heightened especially during first 3months. Food smells were nauseating. Some people dislike perfumes, and some even hates their husband's smell or presence? hahaha. that thankfully did not occur ;-) more attach ada la. *batlashes*

Fatigueness were full blown. Daily normal activity just made me really tired. I guess that critical development time took a hugr sum of energy from the mother huh? I even felt like a grandma, slept at 9pm everyday but still feel not adequate the next morning.

Emotional wise.. hmm.. I easily let down tears and I am not the person that teared easily. Movies like step up revolution, the part where the girl danced alone for final audition? i.teared.a.bit. hahaha! only at that. Being extra cranky or angry or irritable, not so much. Feels the same like before.

Everybody experienced them differently even after multiple times getting pregnant, they always have something different to share everytime ♥

Alhamdulillah after first trimester has passed, energy were back to normal, no more nausea and vomiting, not so choosy and sense of smells were handle-able. All smiles

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UPT positive and first trimester

I had an instinct that I might be baking a bun in my oven since 1st week of May. At that time, I went for my usual gym routine. When I was on the threadmill, I could not run. Any attempt to run, my lower abdomen cramped&cried in pain. I did not push further because we were planning to have one and I suspect I am.

Later, I frequently have lower abdominal pain and back pain. Especially when Im working . Taking patient's bloods were a huge burden coz bending is painful and achy..

Only 2-3 weeks later when my period missed a week, my urine test had a vague positive line. Worried if i might be hallucinating, I double confirmed with my husband's eyes hehe..

Planned was to see an obgyn end of june cause at least at that time, a heartbeat will be there. Unfortunately, I had red-brownish staining a week after my urine tested positive.

I was diagnosed to have a threatened miscarriage , which means the baby is threatened and that doctor gave me 50-50% chance since no heartbeat could be detected (too early scan)

Ijul and I were extremely worried. Worried so much and prayed to Allah as He knows the best. My BHCG was really convincing and at least that little nut is in my uterus and not somewhere outside.

I was on bed rest. Waiting game were no fun. A week later, my private obgyn scanned and saw a small clot in btwn my uterus and the decidua(which will bcome placenta later). This condition is called subchorionic haemorrhage and it seemed to be normal according to my obgyn coz there is always a possibility a part of it got dettached during excessive movements or unknown reasons, bleed and formed a clot. But good news was we saw a heartbeat !

A week later I repeated scan at my hospital, they don't seemed to see any clots but since staining still present, I was allowed to rest.

I had 2 days of bleeding, more than just stains and that freaked out a bit. But positive thinking, since I had no cramps, i did not see any products coming out, I thought maybe the clot is bleeding out and hence it bleed more. The clot has to come out to allow proper attachment .. oh god, knowing so much is seriously a major problem !!!!

After that , just stains for almost a month. Too worried sampai tak worried dah.. in the end , just leave it to Allah.

I resumed work after 3+wks of rest, and that is not easy. The more i walk and longer i stand, stained were more. I get lower abdominal cramps due to excessive walk and when I rest for a while , eg sitting in labor room (when nobody is in labor) , I was labelled lazy.. sigh :'( but I dont blame them, they don't know what i am going through at that time and i dont plan to share since it was my first week of new dept, tagging somemore (7am-10pm work) .. i did not want people to label me having excuses just because i am pregnant.

But alhamdulillah, 2nd week of work, no more stained. And now I am at my 21 weeks. Baby is active , Alhamdulillah ;-)

To be cont.

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Syawal wishes ;)

Selamat Hari Raya !!! 
Hope it is not too late to wish ;) How's Syawal for all of u ? It was HECTIC for me !!!! I only had holiday on the 4th and 5th raya.
On the 1st day of Raya, I worked at night from 10pm-10am the next day, hence I get to spend my 1st day Raya with family.. We covered 7 houses on that day !!! No naps the whole day :(( I was pretty knackered top to bottom. Was incharged in labor room. Prayed so hard I get to atleast sleep.. Alhamdulillah, the last labor was at 11pm , and the next patient came in at 430am. I get to sleep for a bit alhamdulillah :)

My sibs with his ;)

2nd day raya was the day I came back from my night duties. Went raya as usual but slept early as 3rd day Raya I worked at 7am till 2pm.. HECTIC HUHHHHH...

On 4th day Raya, my mom's side of the family organised a family day at Gold coast, Morib. 

Tokmak and her granddaughters (not all in the pic)

Family day was great. But I could not do anything much.. EHEM.. saw that small bump? or realized me looking a little bit chubby? HAHAHAHA

Yes yes.. Alhamdulilah, hot bun is cooking in my oven.. wootszzz !! we are expecting ;)
Today, baby has turned 20 weeks / 5 months ;) Starting to appreciate movements more since last week..

Hence, the reason why I could not do anything much.
No theme park. No beach in the evening. No running. No sports activities.. hMmmm.. Boring laa a bit but for the baby and me, wtvr it takes ;)

Will share more about my pregnancy insyaAllah. So far, Alhamdulilah smooth sailing..

2 more weeks before we end syawal ;) enjoy every bits of it ya !

Till then, XOXO